Who Does Josh Groban Think He Is? *
Blender
January/February 2007
[NOTE: Contains some explicit content and language]
* Remember: What else can I be but what I am?
Is this dreamy popera star secretly a drug-addled, sex-addicted time bomb? (Hint: Yes!)
That self-portrait is a bit of a mess, Josh.
I’m often an overthinker. I overthink things into the ground. And this is kind of me with static and craziness around me, and absolutely just wondering, Why? I’m thinking to myself, How can I think my way out of this?
Maybe you’d do better describing yourself in words, not pictures. Tell us what you look like.
Well, my mom thinks I look like Richard Gere, but I don’t agree. I was at a Dodger’s game, and two girls were arguing over whether I was James Blunt or Napoleon Dynamite. I think I kind of look like a Josh. I’ve grown into the Josh look pretty well. The everybody’s-friend kind of look. "Hey, we’re having a party, let’s call Josh over for a good time."
Describe your taste in sex.
My taste in sex is comfortable. I think anytime you can find a comfortable position, that’s always good.
Does the booty call have a place in your life?
Does booty text count?
Sure.
My last booty call was actually about four days ago. They don’t happen a lot. In life there should be a number of booty-call and booty-text people you can feel safe with.
How many do you feel safe with?
Maybe two. Two booties.
How punk are you?
Oh, man, I wish I could be punk, but I’m not. I’m not very punk at all. I do want a tattoo, though. And I was thinking to myself, If I got a tattoo, my fans would really think differently about me. But I see so many tattoos of me on my fans that I think If I got one it would be all right with them.
What drug would you never take again?
Ritalin. I was wrongly prescribed Ritalin when I was younger. I didn’t need it, but I did have a bit of a focus problem, and it’s just like speed. That was not a good day at school.
How about a recreational drug?
I’m too much of a control freak. I tried pot once in high school. I felt like Lady and the Tramp was the funniest damn movie I’d ever seen in my entire life, and then I ate a whole pizza. I was afraid of alcohol because of those movies in high school where people would get drunk and end up dead. Oh, my God, those were good actors in those movies.
Do you pick your nose?
Only while driving. There’s something about being in a car, you think nobody can see you. But they can.
Is that your most disgusting habit?
Part of my whole obsessive-compulsive, overanalytical thing is that I’m a total cleanliness freak, so I don’t pick my nose that much, and if I do it’s really only to get foreign objects or erasers out of there. But I crack things. I crack my knuckles. I crack my fingers and my neck. I can crack pretty much any part of my body. I’m my own chiropractor. And I’m also really double-jointed. My finger bends all the way back. That really doesn’t get me the girls anymore, but it did. That was the one thing I could do in third grade that the girls were like, "Cool, Josh. Hey, sweetie, come look at this freak!"
What’s your favorite curse word?
[Four seconds pass.] I’m trying to think, 'cause I have so many. I love to curse.
What do you say when someone cuts you off in traffic?
"Stay in your lane, fucktard." That’s a good one. "Fuck" just doesn’t do it anymore.
Do you carry a lot of rage around inside?
I’ve always been pretty nonconfrontational. In elementary school a kid tried to pick a fight with me, and I remember saying, "Hey man, how can we resolve this? Sit with me on the bench.”
What food won’t you eat?
Sea Urchin. It looks like baby poop. Which I don’t like either.
Does that create any social problems for you?
You’d be surprised. There’s always a bunch of guys at a sushi restaurant: "Dude, you gotta try this. It’s delicious. You gotta try this, bro." I’m not your bro, bro. No thank you. But other than that I’ll eat lots of things. I’m pretty easygoing.
[NOTE: In his recent holiday post on his message board, Josh made these comments about this article:
"Ok...a word about press. Recently I couldn't help but notice a bit of a point/counterpoint going on (which I think is great) about a certain article that just came out. I wasn't going to even bring attention to it by mentioning it but I will say a couple of things I learned from it. 1. Sarcasm doesn't come across too well in the creatively edited printed word 2. Sometimes I have too much caffeinated fun and say too much without realizing that nothing is ever JUST for a magazine in the world of internet. If you thought it was a hilarious, intelligent piece of youthful commentary then great. If you didn't, then...well...I agree with you and hope you can move on." -Josh Groban]
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